You bring everyone so much joy
when you leave the room.

I’d agree with you
but then we’d both be wrong..

You’re so dense
light bends around you.

If I had a dollar for every smart thing you said
I’d be broke.

You’re like a software update.
Whenever I see you, I think, ‘Not now’

Your face makes onions cry.

You have the perfect face
for radio.

You’re the human equivalent of a typo.

You’re like a broken pencil
pointless

I thought of you today.
It reminded me to take out the trash.

If laughter is the best medicine
your face must be curing the world.

If I wanted to kill myself
I’d climb your ego and jump to your IQ

You’re like a joke
without a punchline.

You’re not stupid
you just have bad luck when it comes to thinking.